I was baptized at age 9 in my home church in a small Texas town. This was an exciting time for me and church activities became my primary social outlet. I soon became religious but I did not build a relationship with Jesus. My childhood was filled with insecurities that resulted in trying to please others to gain their acceptance.
As an adult, I continued to struggle with poor self-esteem issues, loneliness, frustration, insecurity, pleasing others, and hiding in my work. The more I struggled, the more I needed to control everything around me and the more I hid the “real me” from others. The emotional baggage of growing up in an alcoholic home, the loneliness, and the insecurity gained as a child, were only compounded within me as I struggled with these adult issues. After my divorce, the negative emotions of my past were compounded with the unexpected death of my grandmother and Mom’s terminal illness. Once again, I “hardened my heart” and pretended to be “strong” as I began to live from one emotional catastrophe to another, pretending to be happy.
In early, 1998, as my secretary began to pray with me each day in my office, I began to feel God’s peace, and it was through those prayers, as well as her friendship, that I gained the strength to endure Mom’s illness and her death. In the fall of 1999, at a Christian women’s conference, I learned that a relationship with Christ is so much more than just accepting Jesus as Lord and receiving the Holy Spirit. That October day in 1999, I asked God to take total control of my life and to teach me His ways through the Holy Spirit. Since that day, I have found all the things that I had spent my life seeking – unfailing love, unconditional acceptance, security, a sense of freedom and my purpose in this life.
As I have learned to walk in faith with the Holy Spirit each day, God has given me confidence to face life trials. He has freed me from the need to seek approval from others, and the need to control all the details of my life. He has assured me that His love is complete, secure and unconditional. He has filled my loneliness with His presence and shown me that I can trust Him to care for me in all things and at all times. He has shown me the power of prayer in my life and in the lives of those I love. Although, I sometimes fall, He is always there to comfort me when I turn to Him.
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us (ME) from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
And what did the new way of life cost?
It is God’s free gift to me. It cost me nothing but it cost Jesus His life.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9
I am excited about what God has done, and is doing, in my life. He is my very best friend and I have found true happiness and the “peace that passeth all understanding” for the first time in my life. Jesus wants to be your best friend.
If I can help you come to know Him better, please call on me.
(Written in Summer 2003)
Today, 2012, I am happily married and the mother of 6 wonderful children (daughter, son-in-love, son, 2 step-sons and a daughter-in-love) and 4 beautiful grandchildren. God has restored and blessed my life.
Welcome to faithfulnibbles. I hope that you will enjoy your stay here and that you might find a spiritual nibble that will help you on your own spiritual journey.
May God bless you,